by Randi Destefano, ASID
Have you ever wondered why, as soon as Halloween is over, to-do lists get longer, the days get shorter, and holiday stress creeps into our lives? The holiday season has arrived, and with it comes some stress and a lot of distractions.
If you’re anything like me, the holidays are meant to be a fun time celebrating with family and friends.  I love finding the perfect gifts and tying them up with a beautiful bow. I love getting Christmas cards from friends and family, and sending out our own. (Though sometimes at our house they become New Year’s greetings!)  We love hosting parties.
But thinking about all the things that need to be done to make the perfect holiday a reality can be overwhelming.   Every little distraction pulls us away from “the List”.  We fall behind and begin to panic and stress out.  What a holiday buzz kill…for us and everyone in the house when it happens!
With all the craziness, and sometimes chaos, we all need some coping skills to get out of overwhelm and into fun! That’s where some easy tips to avoid holiday stress and distractions comes in!
Start small with this list. Choose one or two that seem easiest for you right now. They’re here to help you avoid the holiday stress and distractions that are creeping into your life.
Tip #1:Â Ease Holiday Stress by planning ahead and setting goals
Remember the vision you had in your head for the perfect holiday? Now is the time to get it out of your head and onto paper. Then you can start the action plan.
- Get organized with your decorations. Pull out everything  you have and decide what you need to freshen it up a bit for this year.
- Plan your tabletop and table settings. If you need some ideas, you can find a few on this blog post (Fall Tabletops That Set the Mood).
- Plan your menu and your guest list
- Start your gift list
- Set a goal for when you want these things completed. Be realistic about these goals, give yourself enough time to finish…and then add a few hours or days. It always seems that most things take longer than we think they will.
- Make sure that the spaces you’ll be using for prep, meals, and guests are clean and orderly, especially your prep areas. Remember that it’s hard to get things done when the space you’re working in is a cluttered mess. If not, be prepared for chaos, a lot of setbacks, and…STRESS!
Tip #2: Decide what your holiday budget will be
- Make a budget and stick to it
- Have the right tools and resources before you start, and list the cost.
- What do you need to buy?
- What can you re-use or repurpose?
Tip #3: Say NO when you need to. Don’t feel guilty
- Make it your “best NO”. You don’t always have to say NO to requests from friends or family. And you don’t always need to decline a party invitation. But when the pressure of completing your own holiday plans is getting to you, a gentle “NO” to the request that doesn’t make you excited is your “best NO”.
- Delegate your to-do list between family members
- Your “best YES” is similar to your best NO. Use it after you’ve considered the time it will take away from your own priorities. And you need to be excited about it.
- Busyness is not a virtue, and it is NOT a sign of productivity. If you are taking on too much, the truth is, you’ll probably focus on none of it and risk the chance of doing a horrible job at what you manage to complete.
#4: Set boundaries to avoid distractions
- Ask family to stay away during specific stressful times or tasks (In my case, it was wrapping our stair railings with garland)
- Take a break to be with them later
- When holiday overwhelm is stressing you out, remember that you don’t have to do it all
- You don’t have to see everyone or do all the things
- If you’re not excited about going to an event, or if it drains your energy when you think about it….don’t do it!
Tip #5: Create relaxing surroundings/environment
- Have a supportive environment to keep you motivated and excited. Play holiday music to get you in the spirit. Light scented candles. Open the windows on a nice day for some fresh air.
- Organize your work space to make each task you need to do simple and easy. That means having all the tools you need ready and waiting so you don’t have to stop and run to the store for a glue gun or a bag of sugar at the last minute.
- Clear your work spaces and de-clutter you home. Knowing that you have a calm space around you will definitely calm the chaos of the holiday season.
Tip #6: Maintain your healthy habits
- Don’t skip out on your workout or walks with friends
- Make sure you get enough sleep
- It’s tempting to “test” all the cookies and desserts, but remember your veggies!
Tip #7: Seek a fresh perspective
- Take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed
- Make a change. I like to call it a mind-flip. Instead of thinking of the project you “have to do”, tell yourself that you “get to bake cookies today”.
- Take one task that drives you crazy during the holidays and tackle it in a new way. A fresh approach just might make a difference. For example, if you dread having to send out holiday cards, enlist your spouse or your kids and split the list.
Tip #8: Be OK with Good Enough
- Be willing to focus on what’s most important
- Be willing to modify family traditions. Decorating our stair railings to the hilt always looked beautiful. My family begged me to do it every year. Since I couldn’t compromise by letting them help (It’s a designer/perfection thing!) I finally used my best “NO”. Holiday decorating is much nicer with that stressful task no longer on my list.
- Don’t always go for bigger and better, when planning your holiday. Do you really need the 10’ Christmas tree when you’re going to be away for most of the holiday?
Tip #9: Remember to Have Fun Along the Way
- Let’s face it. It’s a lot more fun to be with people when you’re not stressed to the max, or so exhausted from working yourself to the bone that you just want to sleep.
- Turn off the devices and start building positive memories. When you think back over your life, you’re not going to remember that you didn’t get everything finished or you missed a text message. Though everyone might still be talking about the turkey that was burned, or the time your pies were eaten by the neighbor’s dog. But that’s just part of the cherished memories created in your home during the holidays. And isn’t that what life is all about?
Thinking about a home renovation or makeover project, but don’t know where to start? Now is the time to get those ideas out of your head and onto paper, so your plans are finished when you’re ready to start! And the best place to begin is with this free guide.
by Randi Destefano, ASID
Whenever vacation time and holidays draw near, it’s time to start thinking about the guests that might be staying with us for a night or two…or more. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I’m a little less thoughtful about the way our guest rooms look when I know family will be staying there. Like the time last summer when our guests thought we had three extra bedrooms and we only have two. Sadly, the very comfortable inflatable bed popped a seam and the bed collapsed in the middle of the night! This was definitely NOT a guest room that said “I’m glad you’re here.
Rule #1: Don’t be so busy that you forget to check out these things before you need them. On the other hand, when I know that friends will be staying overnight, I might add a pretty new detail or two. Can you relate to this?
Because I love to travel, I’ve spent many a night staying in hotels, inns, bed and breakfasts, and with friends. While I’m there I always notice how I feel when I’m in the space. Do I feel welcomed? Does it feel creepy? Is it adequate, but could use some work?
I know that, as an interior designer, I’m more aware of my surroundings than most people. And I truly believe that each space has it’s own energy. But these stays have let me discover a thing or two about what the “perfect” guest bedroom could be. And in the end, it comes down to these three questions:
- Is it Welcoming?
- Is it Comfortable?
- Is it Private?
A welcoming room will let your guests know that you really want them to be there. It has little added touches like flowers, magazines, and good lighting. One friend introduced me to the idea of Pillow Presents, which are gifts you place on your guest’s pillow before they arrive. I loved this idea, and started doing it when our family comes to visit. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Sometimes I forget, and leave a little bag of candy. Or completely forget and am reminded by my youngest granddaughter. And now my daughters have started leaving them on our pillows when we visit!
To feel comfortable, room size isn’t as important as the bed, the pillows, and the temperature in the room. Everyone has their own comfort level when it comes to these three things. Giving options to your guests is so appreciated…especially aging parents, pregnant daughters, and “hot flashing” girlfriends!!! We’ve rented a house in Florida for a few weeks, and I’m already wondering if the bed and pillows will give us a good night’s sleep.
Finding a private space for everyone when your home is overflowing with guest can sometimes be a challenge. When this happens it’s helpful to think out of the box and have a plan before your guests arrive. But, basically, guest appreciate a place to store their “stuff”, and maybe get away from the crowd for a minute or two.
Do you have a checklist of guest room favorites? Here is my Top 10 list. Some were borrowed from my friends, hotels, and inns. Others were suggested to me by family.
- A comfortable mattress with mattress pad
- Tiny paper cups at the sink, stacked on a pretty plate
- A full length mirror, or at least a mirror for makeup and hair
- A folding screen or some type of room divider if other guests will be walking by or sharing the space
- Bottled water or a small pitcher and glass
- Down pillows, or at least nice fluffy ones (some people sleep with two pillows)
- A throw to cuddle up with for an afternoon nap
- A place to hang your clothes and open your suitcase…and empty hangers
- Lamps tall enough to read in bed
- Blinds or draperies to cover the window at night
Do I have each and every one of these in our guest room? Not at all! But I’m working on it with each and every guest. And when I travel, the list grows as I discover some new little nicety that I hadn’t thought of before.
In the end, it’s all about enjoying your time with house guests, welcoming them into your home, and being together making memories that will last a lifetime!
Your Design Action Steps:
- Look at your guest room from a visitor’s eye…objectively
- Make a list of what you see that is welcoming, comfortable, and offers privacy
- Now make a list of what could be added to the room that would add to your guest’s comfort, and make them feel really welcomed
Remember that it doesn’t have to be expensive or over the top in luxury.
by Randi Destefano
I don’t know about you, but I tend to procrastinate on holiday preparations. Sometimes it’s because I’m too busy with other things that were more important when I said “yes” to them. Other times, the perfectionist in me keeps thinking “what if?” What if a better table decorating idea comes to me later? What if there won’t be enough variety of food? Crazy, right?
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, it’s time to think about what can be done right now that will bring more joy and less stress to the holiday. Remember, we want to avoid holiday chaos and focus on enjoying our family and friends. The answer could be discovering the ONE THING you want to accomplish with the preparation and the meal. For me, that would be enjoying our time together, staying calm, and living in the moment. When I focus on this….and how long it will take to pull it all together…it’s time to get real and make a plan.
Let’s take a look at some simple steps to avoid holiday chaos:
What can you easily accomplish in the time you have?
Remember that people typically come to a gathering for two reasons: food and fun. YOU are hoping to create lasting memories. But be realistic about the amount of time you can spend planning and preparing. When you’re completely exhausted by the time you sit down to dinner, it’s hard to enjoy the meal and your guests. Take it from me…been there, done that! My little Thanksgiving secret is that one year I went on strike in cooking the meal. But that’s another story for another day! LOL!!!
As you plan your meal, remember to delegate a dish or two to anyone who offers. Your party will be easier that way. And the bonus for your guests is that it lets them try a new recipe as well as feeling helpful.
What should you buy? What should you DIY?
Sometimes you just can’t do it all yourself. So you need to decide what can you buy and what can you realistically do yourself. Costco, Trader Joe’s and Fresh Market have delicious, prepared food that can fill in for side dishes you don’t have time to make.
This same mindset holds true for the table decorations. Most of us dream of having our Thanksgiving table decorated with perfectly coordinated china, colorful linens, and beautiful centerpieces. With a peaceful walk in the woods and a quick “shopping trip” around your own home, you can easily create a look that will wow your friends and family.
How to handle the clutter when guests are staying overnight?
I like being neat and tidy (most of the time), so a house full of overnight guests, luggage, and cramped quarters can feel a little crazy and chaotic.
Some of the ways I’ve managed to keep clutter to a minimum is to make sure everyone has a designated area for their family’s “stuff”. At my house that means all coolers are stored in the room off the garage and toys are kept all together.
Creating an out-of-the-way private space for guests to keep their suitcase will make them feel welcomed and keep the clutter to a minimum.
We all want the holiday to be a joyful, fun-filled and stress-free time. We want our guests to feel welcomed and comfortable. And most of all, we want to create cherished memories that last a lifetime as we give thanks for all of our many blessings.
by Randi Destefano
I have to admit that Fall is my favorite time of year. Why do I love it? Because, finally the temperatures begin to cool down and the leaves change to vibrant gold, orange, and red. I love spending time on the porch having a glass of wine with my husband in the evening, enjoying our tree house view that changes daily with different colors. But most of all, I love entertaining and creating Fall table settings that set the mood for the evening.
The moods you create can be endless…completely your choice! One mood might be warm and cozy like the table setting above. I loved it the minute I discovered it on One Kings Lane. The swag draped down the center with glowing candles and fresh flowers make me want to pull up a chair and sit there all evening!
Have you ever gone to a dinner party at a friend’s home and they’ve really taken the time to create a beautiful table setting? How does it make you feel? I hope that it makes you feel as if you’ve entered a special place that welcomes you, because they want you to feel special.
Remember that you don’t have to hire a professional floral designer to create it for you when it’s so easy and so much fun. But there are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to learn how to do it yourself.
MOOD: Do you want your dinner party to be formal or casual, rustic or festive, simple or elaborate? The food that you plan to serve for the evening may be the deciding factor. Don’t you love how the rustic setting above uses food in fall colors as part of the setting? Even the use of fresh herbs in a vase adds to its farm-to-table appeal. But I especially love how this table setting makes me want to sit down with friends, share a delicious meal, and have great conversations.
The table setting below, shared from Better Homes and Gardens, takes the opposite approach from the traditional settings above. I call this “opposites attract” with its use of the sky blue tablecloth pared with a simple arrangement of autumn leaves. Doesn’t it make you feel a little more festive and ready to party?
FOCAL POINT: It’s important to have a focal point to your table. And it’s a lot more fun to ditch the traditional floral arrangement to be a little more creative. That’s right! It’s time to think outside the box. Take a walk in the woods. Shop your pantry and cabinets. Stretch your imagination!!!
Keep placement in mind when you create your focal point. Remember that guests like to see your face when they’re talking with you. Arrangements that are too high or too wide are beautiful to look at when you enter the space, but not so practical during dinner.
INDOORS OR OUT: When the weather is beautiful and the air is crisp, it’s nice to have the option of setting your table outdoors. My friend, Donna, has a lovely front porch that’s perfect for a long table to fill with friends. Tom and I love serving cocktails and appetizers on our porch since the table there is too small for a large dinner crowd. But that doesn’t stop me from creating a Fall table setting that sets the mood for the evening!
Each time I see this Southern Living outdoor dining space, my heart sings! I love the lights, the pots filled with mums and grasses, and the rustic setting. What a fun way to spend an evening with friends!
Planning your table setting can be fun. But if the rest of your holiday is beginning to stress you out, or you feel like your being pulled in a million directions, be sure to check out this post. 9 Easy Tips to Avoid Holiday Stress and Distractions offers ways to help you get out of overwhelm and into action.
In the end, when all is said and done, the table you set and the food you serve is never as important as the people who share the table with you. Remember that life is about the moments spent with people you love, the laughter shared around the table, and the memories you create when you’re together. Happy Decorating!!!!
by Randi Destefano
Like children everywhere, Italian kids look forward to the arrival of the red-suited Babbo Natale on Christmas Eve. However, this relatively modern tradition pales in comparison to the anticipation generated by the arrival of an old witch in early January.
On Epiphany Eve, the old, tattered and soot-covered Befana flies around the world on a broomstick and comes down chimneys to deliver candy and presents to children who have been good during the year. For those who have fallen a bit short of model behavior, la Befana will leave lumps of coal. (Realizing that no one can be perfect for a whole year, these days la Befana often leaves a sweet “lump of coal” made from black sugar.)
La Befana has been an Italian tradition since the XIII century and comes from Christian legend rather than popular culture. The story is that la Befana was approached by the Three Wise Men who asked her to lead them to the stable where the baby Jesus lay in a manger. La Befana was too busy cleaning her house at the time, so she declined the offer to go with them. Very soon she realized that she had made a huge mistake, so she gathered up a bag full of gifts and set off alone in search of the baby Jesus.
Though she followed the same star as the Magi, she was unable to find the stable. Undaunted, la Befana continues to travel the world over to this day searching every house for the Christ child. On January 6, the first day of Epiphany, Italian children hold their breaths as they search their stockings for a sign that they have been good that year.
The arrival of la Befana is celebrated with traditional Italian foods such as panettone (a Christmas cake) and marks the end of the long and festive holiday season in Italy.
Article from: http://everybodylovesitalian.com/legend-la-befana
by Randi Destefano
I have to admit that Fall is my favorite time of year. Why do I love it? Because, finally the temperatures begin to cool down and the leaves change to vibrant gold, orange, and red. I love spending time on the porch having a glass of wine with my husband in the evening, enjoying our treehouse view that changes daily with different colors. But most of all, I love entertaining and creating Fall table settings that set the mood for the evening.
The moods you create can be endless…completely your choice! One mood might be warm and cozy like the table setting above. I loved it the minute I discovered it on One Kings Lane. The swag draped down the center with glowing candles and fresh flowers make me want to pull up a chair and sit there all evening!
Have you ever gone to a dinner party at a friend’s home and they’ve really taken the time to create a beautiful table setting? How does it make you feel? I hope that it makes you feel as if you’ve entered a special place that welcomes you, because they want you to feel special.
Remember that you don’t have to hire a professional floral designer to create it for you when it’s so easy and so much fun. But there are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to learn how to do it yourself.
MOOD: Do you want your dinner party to be formal or casual, rustic or festive, simple or elaborate? The food that you plan to serve for the evening may be the deciding factor. Don’t you love how the rustic setting above uses food in fall colors as part of the setting? Even the use of fresh herbs in a vase adds to its farm-to-table appeal. But I especially love how this table setting makes me want to sit down with friends, share a delicious meal, and have great conversations.
The table setting below, shared from BHG, takes the opposite approach from the traditional settings above. I call this “opposites attract” with its use of the sky blue tablecloth pared with a simple arrangement of autumn leaves. Doesn’t it make you feel a little more festive and ready to party?
FOCAL POINT: It’s important to have a focal point to your table. And it’s a lot more fun to ditch the traditional floral arrangement to be a little more creative. That’s right! It’s time to think outside the box. Take a walk in the woods. Shop your pantry and cabinets. Stretch your imagination!!!
Keep placement in mind when you create your focal point. Remember that guests like to see your face when they’re talking with you. Arrangements that are too high or too wide are beautiful to look at when you enter the space, but not so practical during dinner.
INDOORS OR OUT: When the weather is beautiful and the air is crisp, it’s nice to have the option of setting your table outdoors. My friend, Donna, has a lovely front porch that’s perfect for a long table to fill with friends. Tom and I love serving cocktails and appetizers on our porch since the table there is too small for a large dinner crowd. But that doesn’t stop me from creating a Fall table setting that sets the mood for the evening!
Each time I see this Southern Living outdoor dining space, my heart sings! I love the lights, the pots filled with mums and grasses, and the rustic setting. What a fun way to spend an evening with friends!
In the end, when all is said and done, the table you set and the food you serve is never as important as the people who share the table with you. Remember that life is about the moments spent with people you love, the laughter shared around the table, and the memories you create when you’re together. Happy Decorating!!!!
Hi!
I'm Randi Destefano, and I love helping homeowners design and renovate their existing home. 
